I've always grew up knowing that God is love. In fact, I believe the bible is a love story between a Maker, and his children. It's an ongoing saga of the distance that exists between man and God, and God's undying faithfulness to bring his people to him. The bible illustrates the ebbing of a tide - the tragedy of when people turn their back on God contrasted with the beauty of a people who choose God.
Today is no different.
Recently I've been set on something that I can only call a journey. It's a journey of understanding myself in the context of others, but more importantly in my relationship with God. I've been going through a lot of things on the inside that are hard, if not impossible, to express with spoken words. This is all good stuff I believe, a struggle that I hope everyone will have sometime in their life, a holy wrestling match with a sovereign God. Out of this struggle I have faith I will be blessed, but will never be the same. I'll have a slight limp, and a different name. (Genesis 32:22-32)
But I've realized that this struggle will never happen without some kind of polarizing force. Something has to draw us to God. We fall into sin and maintain our worldly trek just as the rivers flow into sea. We are prisoners of gravity. But God calls us to ascend, to reverse the natural flow of things. He calls to us to stand in faith to part the water, to step out in faith to walk on water. He calls us to do the unnatural. To perform the supernatural.
But how can this work? I think the best understanding can be derived from our knowledge of electricity. The basic principal of electrical power is that electrons flow when both a negative and positive force applied. The greater the extremes, the stronger the flow. It is the love of God that draws us, but in order to get the flow started, we must first learn to despise our life. Since God's love is infinite, that must mean the only thing stopping us from flowing into God is us.
I picked up my bible yesterday. OK, in all actuality I picked up my iPhone and launched the bible application, but that's the same thing right? I started flipping through Luke trying to find the passage where Peter walks on water since the other gospels leave out that minor detail. As I flipped through, the title of a chapter section caught my eye. "The Cost of Being a Disciple". My soul reverberated at the sight of this topic because I feel that God is calling me and desiring to teach me. So I flipped to that section. The following are the verses I read in mind-blowingly simple detail.
"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters – yes, even his own life – he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple" – Luke 14:26-27
So let me get this right... Jesus is telling us to hate? Is that what's really being communicated here? This is a mind-blowing verse that I think gets easily overlooked. We seem to skim over this verse in our Christian circles and popular theology since it's much easier to fast forward to 1 Corinthians 13 or something. It's much easier to focus on how much we are called to love our children, our families, honor our father and mother, etc. So why would Jesus say such a thing the messes up our tidy world? It's all about flow.
God desires us to have a relationship with him. He desires us to seek him. He desires us to flow into him. But that flow must come from a hatred of your life. There must be a holy discontent, a divine disgruntlement. Besides, change only happens when the cost of not changing exceeds the pain resulting in remaining the same. Too often that's how we live our lives – in a constant state of fearing change and expending our energy to maintain some constant of normalcy. But we instead busy ourselves in life with patching up the leaks so we can stay afloat in this boat that we've built. We pray to God that he will help us keep our head above water, but really what he wants us to say is "Jesus, if that's really you, tell me to come". And then he answers simply with "Come". (Matthew 14:28-29)
Are you sick and tired of your life? Are you frustrated with your family or maybe even your spouse? Maybe your kids are driving you crazy. Perhaps the entire world is collapsing around you. That's great news because it means you're well on your way to becoming a disciple. For the rest of us we may need learn to despise this world a little more so we can have that relationship that God wants with us. To seek him out and struggle with him through our darkest moments until we get a glimpse of his face when the day breaks. Then we will be forever ruined to this world. We will never walk the same. We will be forever changed.
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